music::: Massive Attack – Butterfly Caught (RJD2 Remix)

This remix is mind-blowingly, soul-warmingly, heart-touchingly beeeautiful *_* I want the single to come out, so I can listen to it on CD, full volume, windows open and all. (My sister’s gonna love it, I just know it.)

Random note for the global DVD makers: Special Editions do not make bad movies any better. (In fact, SEs are kind of useless when no one’s gonna buy the DVD anyway. But oh, whatever.)

Some fine person using T-Online has been trying to get into Junya for the past 2 hours. Get lost. Not like I have any files worth hacking in to.

Oh and the The Man Who Wasn’t There DVD is really really cool. Especially the deleted scenes o_O I think I know enough hairstyles now to become a hairdresser. The film’s really lovely, though. Not as good as Fargo (of course), but Frances McDormand was brilliant (again) and I’m starting to have a certain degree of respect for Billy Bob Thornton.

Mulholland Drive is definitely not the perfect movie to watch when I’m alone in a dark apartment. The monstrous man behind the wall at Winkie’s always makes my flash creep. (And one of the nerves just below my left eyebrow has been twitching for almost 2 hours. Yes, it’s that nerve-racking.)
But, God, do I love this film.

music:::Garbage – Vow

It’s been a long time since a movie has left me with such mixed impressions as Matrix Reloaded… Some of the scenes were so bad we had to laugh, but other scenes pretty much left me sitting there with eyes and mouth wide open thinking this is one of the best films I’ve seen in a long long time. In fact, parts of the movie are still in my head, I just can’t seem to let them go and it took me quite long to fall asleep last night.

I forgot to tell about my reverse culture shock experience in Düsseldorf:
There were more people in the bookstores than usual because of that Japan Day thing. (Btw, I got to see the coolest Japanese amour…) And it was kind of embarrassing to see that all the German customers, mainly girls in their late teens, behaved quite badly -_- They were noisy, giggling, gushing over shounen manga (o_O), it felt so embarrassing to be German, too, at that moment.
And I got to see the ugliest cosplay ever. I’m used to seeing all those pretty Japanese girls dressed in beautiful costumes with pretty make-up. They manage to look pretty even if they display the freakier side of visual kei. The German cosplayers, however, managed to look uglier than anything I’ve seen before. Worst of all was their ‘Hey look at us, we’re so damn freaky’ attitude which made them appear more ridiculous than cool or anything else. This might sound a bit arrogant but some parts of the Japanese culture should -not- be adopted by non-Japanese; at least that’s what I thought after seeing them.

I’m so glad I won’t have to go to uni till Monday. I spent the early afternoon in various shops, bought some DVDs I’ve been wanting to buy for so long, one of which is the Coen Brothers’ The Man Who Wasn’t There. Now I have this little stack of movies to watch in the next 4 days (shiawase~).

I finally managed to catch up a little on Wolf’s Rain episodes.
There was this little boy named Hasu in episode 9. My heart started to beat when he started to talk and I felt all fluffy and warm inside. Then realization hit me: Irino Miyu voice acting greatness!!! ♥♥ One of these days I’m going to butcher my Asukas and plaster my walls with his pics. Even if that means my friends will ask me where my affection for really really young Japanese boys comes from ><;; Haaaa.

music:::Hotaru – Kayou Suspense Gekijou

Ah, Hotaru appreciation day ♥

Things are getting better, I think. Some things at least; some are starting to get uncomfortable but oh well.

I feel like such an idiot.
I got an email from a Japanese merry fan. She’s asking me wether I’ve been contacted by merry, their management or some other ‘official’ person about the images on black sheep. She had a merry fansite with merry pics but decided to take the site down temporarily after she’d read about Japan’s Copyright Act a while ago.
She says her site doesn’t offer much text cause she’s not that good at writing articles so there’s not much she can offer text-wise, but on the other hand she doesn’t want to get in conflict with the law or make the band or other people angry by having those images on her site.
Now, she thought if I could use the pics on my site, then maybe it would be okay for her too.

So now I have to explain that what I do means taking a risk (which is more or less expecting to get contacted by someone official like s’cube did last year). Also, I’m not Japanese, my site is directed towards overseas visitors, and managements are usually (hi s’cube peeps) a little more lenient with overseas fansites cause they either know it’s a little harder for us to obtain information on or images of Japanese bands and a bit of free promotion overseas cannot be wrong, or they don’t contact webmasters cause they might be afraid we don’t understand them or ignore them or whatever. But I don’t want this Japanese girl to get in trouble by saying, no I haven’t been contacted by the management so go ahead and keep the images up, cause they might treat her, a Japanese person, completely different.

There are so many Japanese merry fansites (or unofficial sites for so many other bands) that don’t have any images but lots of information, I don’t know why she doesn’t try to write something about her favourite band. (And what’s the sense of making a website when all you have to offer is scanned magazine images, anyway?) And I haven’t noticed merry, their management blahblahblah mentioning they don’t want people to use their images on fansites like other managements do. Nevertheless, like I’ve said before I don’t want her to get into trouble.

This is where I’m starting to feel like an idiot: I cannot manage to write one single coherent Japanese sentence. I can understand Japanese just fine. And I could fill pages and pages with reports on the Japanese economy, Japanese holidays or their history, all in Japanese. But writing a more personal email with a more complicated topic like this in Japanese is so much harder for me. This is so frustrating!

music:::blur – Good Song

It’s cold, it’s been raining for weeks, I’m feeling miserable.

No, not really miserable, at least not in Real Life. Being miserable online has become a bad habbit of mine, so ignore my whining, please.

My Real Life is so exhausting. There are so many weird social situations, all this relationship crap is making my head spin. Damn, I so long for that little black hole I can hide in, where I don’t have to talk to anyone, don’t have to witness all the crap people do to each other.

Duesseldorf was cool. I spent way too much money on manga and books. (Despite the fact that they didn’t have anything I had on my to-buy list, I still managed to buy quite a lot o_O)

I’ve just spent 4 hours on a paper for uni. We got it back in February (so we won’t feel too bored during the holidays), it’s due tomorrow. I started working on it on Tuesday.
I love my last-minute actions, they’re so much fun (especially for the ones around me; hysterical break-down, yay!).

I’m saving money. (Now, don’t look at me like that. I actually can order less books, mags and manga, DVDs and CDs if I try really hard, you know.) No seriously, I feel this urge to buy an iBook.
Junya’s been acting strangely ever since I made that decision. He won’t play DVDs (I wanted to spend a lovely evening with Mulholland Dr last night ;_;) and he crashes when I open Photoshop. I still love him, in a weird way; just like he loves me in his own little twisted way.

I thought I had a weekend all for myself, but we’ll have a RP session tomorrow night. Oh well, I’m trying to make the best of it, though I’m always glad when the evening’s over. RPG’s not for me, obviously. I hate the battles. (I kind of like the walking around, talking in ancient language, though.)

Hanacha is disgusting.

If that wasn’t random, I don’t know what is.

music:::blur – Think Tank

…ah, I’m so in love with this album.

Life continues to suck. Want to go home so badly.

I’m going to see Go on my birthday. How great is that? And then, a few days later, I’ll be able to go home for 2 weeks. Heaven.

On Saturday I’ll be going to Duesseldorf for what they call Japan Day. We can go there for free, the anime club at our uni pays our train tickets. They won’t be paying for anything available in the various Japanese bookstores which would have been awesome but, alas, we’ll have to buy those things ourselves. I already have a long long list of books and mags I neeeed to haaave…

The last 2 weeks have been so strange. I wish I could blame only one single person for everything, but it’s much more complicated than that. I’m not even content with myself anymore. I don’t know what I want, I don’t know what would be best for my future, I don’t know if I can put up with this any longer or if I should just find myself a hiding hole and disappear from here. I cannot tell anyone cause it’s so hard to trust anyone. Everyone’s so damn fine, why can’t I be happy?

_Finally_ got to see Bowling For Columbine. It definitely made up for the crappy week I had. Michael Moore is my hero. In fact, he should be the hero of every intelligent human being.

Is it just me or is amazon getting really annoying? It’s the third time I’ve been waiting more than 4 days for items that were supposed to be available within 24 hours >_<

Life sucks. I can’t stand being near some people, I feel like a ticking time bomb every time I have to be with them. I’d love to be honest with them and tell them right away what losers they are, how very self-centered they are not to realize that, how they’d better stay away from me, how I hate it when they get me down with their shit.

Time for escapism.